Cyclist
We created British versions of cycling’s five Monuments
The Monuments are the pinnacle of cycling’s Classics calendar. Having been given unofficial Monument status during the 1980s and 1990s, these five races are steeped in cycling history and considered the hardest one-day races on the calendar to win. The UCI has even now officially recognised them as superior in the points on offer for placing highly.
The Monuments – Milan-San Remo, the Tour of Flanders, Paris-Roubaix, Liège-Bastogne-Liège and Il Lombardia – are concentrated in just three nations: Belgium, Italy and France. While they’ve managed to hog all the fun, here in the UK we can barely get a WorldTour race up and running. There’s no reason why not – we’ve got plenty of hills, cobbles and gravel roads of our own.
So in celebration of the Monuments coming to a crescendo, we’ve trawled through UK atlases to produce five British Monuments inspired by their continental counterparts. For this challenge, we’ve tried to emulate the elevation gain, terrain and local lore tied to each of these goliaths. Even though they don’t possess the same century-long tradition, we think we’ve given the UCI something to think about.
Who knows? There might be a future Monument in here somewhere. It’s also worth noting we’ve not crossed over with the UK’s existing spring Classic, the Rutland-Melton Cicle Classic, which is a Monument in our hearts already.
Milan-San Remo: London-Brighton
To kick things off, we need to rip off Milan-San Remo, the first Monument of the calendar. After a long off-season, riders are usually in high spirits come March when the cycling world descends on Italy’s Ligurian coastline for what has been billed La Classicissima.
The major quotas for a British MSR are simple. We need a roughly 300km stage with approximately 2,000m elevation gain and a punchy arrival. To truly replicate the race, following the coastline would be an added bonus. Mixing in all these factors, we’ve created London-Brighton – and not in the way that it’s been tackled by amateurs for plenty of years now.
In Milan-San Remo style, we start the race outside of central London. We’ve gone for Richmond Park, a hotspot for cyclists in the capital. From there, the race follows the route of the old RideLondon, covering Surrey’s country roads toward Staple Lane and Box Hill, which will act like the Passo del Turchino during the opening 100km.
After meeting the English Channel in Rye, the profile turns bumpy once more, beginning with Fairlight Road and Beachy Head. For our version of the Poggio, we’ve gone for Ditchling Beacon. This climb, just to the north of Brighton, is around 3km in total length, averaging a gradient of 6%. The ramp has been used before in pro racing as part of the Tour of Britain. It’s also featured on the London to Brighton sportive as well, serving as the final ramp of the day.
Just like the Poggio, the final kilometres are downhill. The only downside with this choice is that it’s not a hairpin-filled descent. Instead, the road funnels straight down into central Brighton, passing by its Royal Pavilion. After swinging past the iconic Brighton Pier, the riders would battle it out on the Promenade, just like San Remo’s Via Roma.
The Tour of Flanders: Ronde van Yorkshire
From the sunny south coast of England, we move to the grey north – much like the transition from Milan-San Remo to the Tour of Flanders.
Yorkshire’s Calderdale is surely the British equivalent to the Flemish Ardennes. This corner of the county offers the heaviest concentration of cobbled climbs in the whole country, and its steep topography is sure to make the Koppenberg a little jealous. In this case, Yorkshire is the natural choice for a Ronde tribute, with Halifax taking on the role of Oudenaarde as the beating heart of this Monument.
Going back to the start, Leeds would see the riders off, with a presentation to rival Antwerp’s Grote Markt in Leeds’ Victoria Square. From there, the hills come thick and fast in the nearby Yorkshire Dales. If anything, this opening 100km is far tougher than its Flemish blueprint.
In total, there are 15 cobbled bergs on our route – the exact same as the original Tour of Flanders. None quite rival the length of their Belgian equivalents, but their steepness is equal, if not greater. Shibden Wall and Trooper Lane are the most iconic of the bunch, both with cobbled gradients of almost 20% at points.
Most of the bergs and hellingen will be negotiated in a 30km-long Calderdale circuit. This is reminiscent of the Oudenaarde loop at Vlaanderens Mooiste, which packs a bucket list of cobbled climbs in the final phase of the Belgian race. This circuit, which begins at 70km to go, would see the bulk of the action, offering 13 of the bumpy ramps on offer.
After two and a half laps of the loop, the final climb would be dealt with at 8km to go, before an undulating run into Halifax town centre, where the winner would be crowned. Given that this Yorkshire spin-off has almost 1,000m more elevation gain than its Belgian equivalent, chances are Tadej Pogačar would already have a two-minute lead by this point anyway.
Now, the Flemish Classics have carved a bit of a niche for podium beers and strange trophies. Taking inspiration from our continental buddies, it’s only fitting to have the winner of the Ronde van Yorkshire drink a cup of Yorkshire Tea from a scabby Easter Egg mug. If that’s too much hassle, just get the podium finishers to bite into a Yorkshire pudding like an Olympic gold medal.
Paris-Roubaix: Southampton-Stonehenge
Now, we tackle the big one: Paris-Roubaix.
This one may leave you scratching your head for a brief moment. There’s a pretty large, dusty elephant in the room here. The UK has a distinct lack of flat pavé like northern France. Go on, feel free to lament your local pothole-laden roads, but there really is no British equivalent of the Carrefour de l’Arbre. As much as we’d like the riders to tackle a lap around the Tower of London or Royal Mile 200 times over, we’ve had to get creative.
To that end, we’ve substituted cobbles for gravel. It’s not quite the same, but it’s the best we can do, OK? (In all seriousness it just goes to show how special Paris-Roubaix is.)
With gravel the new modus operandi, we’ve returned to the south of England for what we can call ‘the Hell of the South’, or the less menacing Southampton-Stonehenge.
Starting off in shipping city Southampton, the course hits the gravel early on as they make a detour through the New Forest. After that, the off-road tracks return through North Dorset and South Wiltshire towards the testing final phase across the Salisbury Plains.
Unlike Paris-Roubaix, the Southampton-Stonhenge Classic keeps the riders on their toes right to the end. Around 85% of the final 50km is on gravel. There are few breaks between these sectors too. The undulating Imber Range Road is 15km in length, then right after, the Salisbury Plain path is a gruelling 27km long, and on exposed roads at that.
We don’t quite have the worn-down soulless industrial town to replicate a Roubaix arrival. Stevenage was booked up that day, I’m afraid. Instead, we’ve gone for a primal velodrome: Stonehenge. Quite rightly, we don’t want to disturb the pagans by forcing Mathieu van der Poel to complete one and a half laps around the ancient stone circle, so we’ve opted for a straight line dash to the finish line, with Stonehenge lurking in the background. Instead of a cobblestone trophy, we’d hope to hand the victor some stone offcuts from this actual monument as well.
Zooming out, roughly a third of this route is gravel according to Koomot. That equates to at least 80km of unpaved roads. This is an increase of 30km on Paris-Roubaix. These roads, however, aren’t quite as testing on the whole body as the French pavé. Regardless, this much gravel would certainly require a different setup than normal as we see at Strade Bianche.
As you may have spotted on the map above, some parts of this route tread awfully close to military camps, of which there are many in this part of the world. Negotiating with the British Army may prove difficult, especially given that fans, riders and race staff would be carting through their training ranges. We may have to go without any helicopter shots in the final 50km, but that’s a compromise I’m willing to make. Although sporadic gunfire may add an extra element of risk that Paris-Roubaix certainly can’t offer.
Liège-Bastogne-Liège: Newport-Swansea-Newport
The penultimate Monument in the calendar takes us to Belgium’s industrial belly, Liège. Described as La Doyenne – literally, the old lady – the race has stood the test of time, having been raced for over 130 years. That’s almost as old as four-time winner Alejandro Valverde.
To replicate the Ardennes in the UK, there are plenty of options. You could easily pull off a Liège-Bastogne-Liège doppelganger in the likes of the Dunstable Downs, Surrey Hills, North Somerset or the Peak District. In keeping with Liège’s industrial backdrop, we’ve gone for South Wales. More specifically, Newport – or Port Neuf in French – feels like an apt fit, albeit with fewer waffles and more rarebit.
Clocking up in excess of 3,000m of elevation gain throughout the day, the profile has some real challenges along the way. Bwlch Mountain could weed off the rouleurs early on, while Maerdy Mountain will open up the real racing at 100km to go. Coch-y-North Road has a La Redoute touch to it too as its narrow roads and lush green surroundings could see some hopefuls stretch out their legs before the rolling return to Newport.
With that, the country lanes of Mountain Road, which crests 8km from the finish, would be the last kicker on offer in this most Welsh of La Doyennes – or rather, gwreigan if we’re adopting the Welsh language.
A women’s race would be fairly easy to cater for as well. The route could cut out the Swansea detour and head back to Newport following the ascent of Bwlch, reducing the race length to approximately 160km. If anything, this is more undulating than the men’s version – suiting Demi Vollering down to a T.
Il Lombardia: Il Cumbria
The final Monument of the year comes in the autumn at Il Lombardia. The fifth Monument is by far the hilliest, seeing riders dance up mountain foothills in what has become Tadej Pogačar’s stomping ground in recent years.
Its host region Lombardy is known for its lakes, notably Garda, Maggiore and Como. Cumbria is also known for its lakes and hills, so we went for an Il Cumbria. Who needs Aperol Spritzs by Lake Como if you can have a Kendal Mint Cake by Windermere, right?
In that vein, we kick things off at Windermere, right by Cumbria’s longest lake. From there, the course wraps its way around the Lake District on a spaghetti-shaped course that ticks plenty of boxes. Yes, all the Lake District’s classic climbs are on the profile. We have Hardknott, Wrynose, Whinlatter and Honister Passes included. The most brutal of which, easily Hardknott Pass, sees the tarmac ramp up to 13% for 2km.
The relentless final 100km of this route follows similar roads to the Fred Whitton sportive, with a detour through Langdale before another lasso to tackle the slate-making Whinlatter and Honister Passes. Following these chocolate box roads, the riders return to the finish in Keswick just a stone’s throw away from the Pencil Museum.
In all fairness, we may be testing these country lanes to their extremes. We could see the Ineos Grenadiers car needing a shunt up the slopes of Hardknott Pass. This risk is certainly worth it though, given how spectacular these roads would look on TV.
The October slot may need a rethink, on the other hand. Sludgy leaf-caked roads and the unpredictable autumn weather in the Lake Distrcit might be a little too off-putting for our dear pro riders.
The post We created British versions of cycling’s five Monuments appeared first on Cyclist.